Monday, October 24, 2016

I Need a Support Group ASAP

Gonna get real for a second.... Tyler would probably hate if he knew I was putting this out there for the world. But I'm an open book when it comes to two things, our struggle with infertility and paying of debt. If you've had a conversation with me that was longer then 30 seconds you probably know that Tyler and I are working the Dave Ramsey plan and are on a "strict" budget. We were both pretty stupid with money in our early twenties and are working on being smart with our money now.

And it sucks.

Like big time.

We've paid off a crap ton of debt over the past few years and only have a small amount left on Tyler's truck to pay off. But the day to day SUCKS. Especially now being a stay at home mom living on one income. The whole budget thing didn't really bother me when I was working because 9 hours a day I was sitting at a desk, in my office, not able to go out in the world and spend money. Now I sit at home 24 house a day and it blows not being able to just go do what I want. Sure I go to Target and Hobby Lobby and will spend a few dollars here and there, but take today for example. I went to Target because I needed to get new sink racks (news flash, Target doesn't carry them), well of course I wandered around and picked out a few things in the clothing section for myself and threw them in my cart. I was walking to the checkout and literally started to break out in hives just thinking about spending $50 on a sweater and two tops. Before it turned in to a full blown panic attack and put the things back and high tailed it out of the store.

Would $50 have put us in the poor house? No. Would that $50 have meant we couldn't buy groceries this week? No. Would that $50 really have put a huge dent in our 5 year plan? No.

Would that $50 have made me feel crappy for the rest of the day? Yes. Would that $50 probably have made me feel crappy for the rest of the week? Yes.

Am I still sitting here contemplating ordering that sweater online...... Yes.

Being on a budget is like being on a diet/workout plan. Its awful while you're on it but you know that in the long run you'll be happier and healthier because of it. Would one donut completely ruin your progress? No. But if you don't watch out and stay on track, that one donut turns in to a dozen and before you know it you've gained 10lbs back and are starting all over again.

I was talking to Tyler the other day how I miss having a credit card sometimes. I miss going shopping and not really paying attention to what I'm spending and just telling myself "I'll pay it off later". I miss having the latest style shoes/purse/clothes/etc.

I have to constantly remind myself why we are doing this. We want Lilly to grow up not knowing what debt is. We want her to grow up knowing that you only buy what you can pay cash for.

Basically I just needed to vent for a second. Being a grown up on a budget sucks, but I know that when I look back on this time in 10 years I'll be so grateful that we are sticking to a budget and working this plan.

Live like no one else, so later you can live and give like no one else!!!

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